I was sitting in front of a very good friend for breakfast a couple of weeks ago, to talk about life and current circumstances and things I needed to do. And as I was speaking, it dawned on me that I don’t like change.
I was talking about whether to upgrade my mobile phone and give my current handset to Jacob. Or just buy a new mobile for Jacob, and I keep my current one…although I do know I will need to upgrade soon for work. But my reluctance in getting a new phone was because of the work involved in setting up the new phone (I have three emails!).
It was easier to get Jacob a new phone to set up (he desperately needs it), than it was for me.
While I was discussing this riveting circumstance to my friend, I think I stopped mid-sentence, only to see my friend grinning at me, as we both realised, part of my problems were most probably caused because I didn’t like change.
I have sub-consciously assumed I was good at navigating change. I’m a go-with-the-flow type gal and in the last few years (pretty much since having kids), my life has changed. I have always optimistically thought I was pretty good at sailing the waves of change and adjusting my sails, because I had handled my curve balls well.
But change is not something I actively pursue. I like being comfortable and sadly, I will stay in one position until I absolutely MUST move.
And so I’ve been feeling a bit blah about a few areas of my life lately and I know the only way they are going to get better is through change. I have to make a decision and run with it.
But because I don’t like change and I’m a little scared, I’ve procrastinated about making a decision. I’ve just kept going with what I know, hoping for the best. But nothing has changed. In fact it’s gotten a little worse.
Being a procrastinator and someone who avoids change isn’t a great combination.
But I think we all go through this in life.
We procrastinate about making a decision on:
Where we want to work
If we should take on that job
When and if we should we go back to study
If we should expand our business
If we should try for that 3rd baby
If we should sell our house or stay
What school our kids will go to and etc.
There are so many decisions to make and we can procrastinate for a while until inevitably a decision has to be made because time has run out. Not because we’ve stopped living (although not changing has the capacity to do just that), but because our age or the time of our circumstance requires an immediate response.
Change is unavoidable. And decisions can only be procrastinated for so long.
While I believe wisdom helps us choose which path to take, it can also guide us to where we need to go and help us make the right decisions to move near the outcome we need.
I talked with some friends at the park last week and I was able to share how I was feeling and they had both been where I’m at right now. And both admitted it took time to know what the next step was. But once that decision was made, the burden of change was easier to handle.
And so I know I need to practice my faith – and make the decisions and run with them and hope they produce the results I need. And if they don’t, well I may just need to change again.
I’m getting encouragement from this quote: