when to make a change

When You Know You’ve Got to Make a Change

I was sitting in front of a very good friend for breakfast a couple of weeks ago, to talk about life and current circumstances and things I needed to do. And as I was speaking, it dawned on me that I don’t like change.

I was talking about whether to upgrade my mobile phone and give my current handset to Jacob. Or just buy a new mobile for Jacob, and I keep my current one…although I do know I will need to upgrade soon for work. But my reluctance in getting a new phone was because of the work involved in setting up the new phone (I have three emails!).

It was easier to get Jacob a new phone to set up (he desperately needs it), than it was for me.

While I was discussing this riveting circumstance to my friend, I think I stopped mid-sentence, only to see my friend grinning at me, as we both realised, part of my problems were most probably caused because I didn’t like change.

I have sub-consciously assumed I was good at navigating change. I’m a go-with-the-flow type gal and in the last few years (pretty much since having kids), my life has changed. I have always optimistically thought I was pretty good at sailing the waves of change and adjusting my sails, because I had handled my curve balls well.

But change is not something I actively pursue. I like being comfortable and sadly, I will stay in one position until I absolutely MUST move.

And so I’ve been feeling a bit blah about a few areas of my life lately and I know the only way they are going to get better is through change. I have to make a decision and run with it.

But because I don’t like change and I’m a little scared, I’ve procrastinated about making a decision. I’ve just kept going with what I know, hoping for the best. But nothing has changed. In fact it’s gotten a little worse.

Being a procrastinator and someone who avoids change isn’t a great combination.

But I think we all go through this in life.

We procrastinate about making a decision on:

Where we want to work

If we should take on that job

When and if we should we go back to study

If we should expand our business

If we should try for that 3rd baby

If we should sell our house or stay

What school our kids will go to and etc.

There are so many decisions to make and we can procrastinate for a while until inevitably a decision has to be made because time has run out. Not because we’ve stopped living (although not changing has the capacity to do just that), but because our age or the time of our circumstance requires an immediate response.

Change is unavoidable. And decisions can only be procrastinated for so long.

While I believe wisdom helps us choose which path to take, it can also guide us to where we need to go and help us make the right decisions to move near the outcome we need.

I talked with some friends at the park last week and I was able to share how I was feeling and they had both been where I’m at right now. And both admitted it took time to know what the next step was. But once that decision was made, the burden of change was easier to handle.

And so I know I need to practice my faith – and make the decisions and run with them and hope they produce the results I need. And if they don’t, well I may just need to change again.

I’m getting encouragement from this quote:

change quote the plumbette

How have you navigated change in your life? When did you know you had to make a change to see a different outcome in your life? (And I know, I’ve probably answered that question, with an answer)

  • I’m not great with change either. I’ve always blamed it on my star sign (Taurus). If you have been thinking about something for some time and it has been weighing you down then you really do need to make a change. I always make a pros and cons list and then take that leap. You can do it!! xx

    • I haven’t done a pros and cons list, but I have a feeling the pros will outweigh the cons. Thanks for being my sounding board tonight as I’ve talked about my plans. xx

  • You know what you need to do and you are certainly starting to take steps towards implementing the changes. You can do this, xx

  • You know I can totally relate to this. I actually found that using some visualisation techniques helped a lot. Things like imagining myself as floating gently along with the current, not fighting it. Sounds naff, but it helped me release my grip on my comfort zone.

    • I’ve been using your visualization techniques Bron and they have been working. Thank you for the suggestion. xx

  • I’m exactly the same. I hate change and once I find my comfortable place, I like to stay there. But when there comes a point that my push becomes more of a shove and I take the leap and I embrace the change. I’ve also found making little changes help and trying small, new things every day, even if it’s as simple as walking to the shops a different way or eating something different for lunch! My favourite quote is “jump and the net will appear.” You can do it!

    • Such good advice to take small steps towards change. Thank Sammie. xx

  • I embrace change. For me, change means growth and continued learning and experiences. If you’re not good with change, my suggestion would be first to put a different mindset on it – instead of worrying about the upheaval and hard work, look at the positives. Also, take baby steps. One tiny movement towards change will have a flow-on effect thus making further change easier. Good luck. xx

    • Thanks so much for your comment Jodi. You’re right about the mindset. I’m definitely going to focus on the positives. Thank you for your advice. Lovely to see you comment here. I hope you’re going well. xxx

  • This is a very insightful post. With me I’ve experienced change a little differently. I have often embraced change and have found it refreshing, however, I have also made changes full throttle without sitting down and considering it and later on, often regretting the decisions I’ve made or not coping with the change. I’ve only just recently been diagnosed with Bipolar and this is one of the symptoms. But, I’m glad to say I knew something was wrong, there were major things happening in my life that I knew weren’t right and I found help. Now the changes I have to make are non-negotiable. From my perspective, I think it’s good that you’re weighing up the pros and cons and just sitting on it for a while. It’s good that you’re talking it through. When I’m trying to make decisions (when I’m not hypermanic) I ask myself, ‘what’s the worst that could happen if I make this change?’ That usually helps. Good luck x

    • Thanks so much Eva. I appreciate that insight and you’ve helped me more than you realise. xx

  • LOL beat you, I’ve got 7 emails … and like you, I am putting off upgrading my phone! Yeah, I don’t really like change either but just take a deep breath and do it when I do make the plunge …

    • HAHA. See there was a reason why get along so well. We’re similar in how we view change. 🙂