Open Home

The other day I opened my home to a lady that I hadn’t met.

I had been challenged to open my home to others to bless them and I decided to randomly allow this lady into my home.

The moment she entered the front door she was warmly greeted by Esther and Magdalene. My dog Bentley excitedly jumped at her feet, with his tail wagging faster than a whipper snipper. She kicked him to the side where he whimpered and limped back to his mat.

The lady smiled slightly and looked my girls up and down. Her eyes turned to me and Phoebe. Phoebe was attached to my hip and her eyes roamed from Phoebe’s face to my hips and then they rested on my tummy. It jutted out a bit too much for my liking, and her stare told me she agreed with me.

I led her down the hallway into the kitchen and living area and I noticed her scanning the state of my living room. There were Duplo blocks spread from one side of the living room to the other. Food crumbs on the coffee table that Bentley obviously hadn’t noticed to lick. Phoebe’s play mat was strewn with baby toys and there was wet arrowroot biscuit matted into the fabric.

‘What kind of role model are you to other mothers when you can’t keep your house tidy for a visitor?’ She exclaimed.

Her negativity didn’t bother me because I had come to accept the season I was in with little children and I had read somewhere that a messy house meant happy kids. And my kids were happy.

Esther pulled on the lady’s arm and asked if she would like to see her room. ‘If it’s in the state of this living room, no, you little sh*t.’

I was taken aback by the ladies words. What was her problem and who was she to speak to my daughter like that in my own home?

‘I’m sorry, but don’t speak to my daughter like that. You had no right to say that to her.’ I stuttered.

She replied, ‘But I have every right. You invited me in. I don’t like what I see and I should be able to tell you how I feel. If you don’t like it then, close your home and don’t invite people in.’

Not one to want to stir up further trouble, I settled Magdalene and Esther down at the coffee table with some pencils and paper to draw. I placed Phoebe in her walker while I went to make a cup of tea for my guest to help her calm down a little.

Everything I offered her was wrong. The tea was too strong so I made another cup and that one was too weak. The slice I baked wasn’t made from organic eggs and she didn’t want a bar of it. And why was I cooking unhealthy slice when my bum was twice the size of Beyoncé’s? I wanted to joke to her that it was triple the size of Beyoncé’s but I didn’t want to give her more ammunition to berate me.

My life and my home were stripped apart from her words and her stare. Everything I loved and believed in was abhorrent to her and she made me know and feel it so.

The moment she left, she turned around and asked me ‘So let’s do this again next week shall we?’

I smiled and nodded, thinking no way. I needed to block her calls from my phone and delete her mobile number.

Once she left, I locked the front door.

I escorted my girls into the living room where we played a little and tried to move on from the negative atmosphere the lady tried to infiltrate our home.

What may read as a shocking morning with a stranger is a common and daily occurrence on the internet.

Us bloggers open up a space and set up a home on the internet freely sharing our space with others, only to have one or two or even a few visitors decide it’s their right to leave a string of abuse or negativity to our flourishing home.

You are most welcome to visit our home, any home. But it’s not your right to leave negative comments or bring the owner of that home down. It’s an absolute privilege to be given a voice to comment so please use that wisely. Or else next time, you will find that your voice will be blocked and there will be no point for you to visit our open home.

How do you handle negativity on your blog or website? Ever entertained someone rude in your home?

I’m linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

 

 

  • Oh my goodness, I was getting really upset reading this. Brilliantly written Bec, as always you have nailed it. I haven’t had too much negativity on the blog, but I have had to block a few people on FB who have been very rude to other commenters. Unfortunately I’ve also experienced rude people within my home and have vowed it won’t happen again. I spent their entire visit feeling flustered and was even shaking with nerves.
    I hope you all have a lovely week and good luck today
    xx

    • Ha it’s funny you say that because when I got Jacob to read it he felt the same way and was wondering why I hadn’t told him about the visit before… but then he go to the end of the post and he got it. His reaction was exactly what I was after when I wrote the post. Showing the shock of a negative comment in a different way.
      And in relation to rude people in your home, you are such a sweetheart and I can’t understand that kind of behavior!
      Esther had a great day at Kindy too. She can’t wait to go tomorrow. I think Magdalene feels the same way too. 🙂

  • Leanne Shea Langdown

    Well done!!!
    This is such a great post.
    Very very clever …
    I haven’t had any negativity on my blog or Facebook, so I’m lucky I guess. If (when) it happens though I’m sure I’ll be pretty shaken up about it …
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

    • Thanks Leanne. I hope you never get a negative comment. 🙂

  • Love this post, Bec! Very clever writing. I ‘touch wood’ have never had any negative people comment on my blog and nobody negative ever enter my home. I’ve had a torrent of abuse down the phone to me at work at the end of last year, but that’s about as bad as it has gotten. xx

    • Thanks Renee. I hope you never get a negative comment too. But if you do, you have your angels to swoop down and back you up all the way. xx

  • LydiaCLee

    I love this – I was wondering who on earth you’d had over!! Great post…so far for me, everyone has played nice…get the odd salesman, from time to time…

    • Thanks Lydia. Gosh, I’ve had rude salesmen and I even had a callback from a telemarketer when I explained I wasn’t interested in getting solar panels because we already had them on our roof!

  • Bec, what a wonderful illustration. Weĺl done.

  • Natalie Peck McNamara

    Not much negativity yet but I absolutely love the comparison. It’s those who don’t do – judge. These who do-encourage.

    • Thanks Natalie. I love your comment. I try to be an encourager all the way. 🙂

  • Janice Jones

    Nailed it again and I know what prompted it You really are a great friend and advocate Love ths piece Well written

  • This is why I am content to remain a micro-blogger! The trolls usually leave us alone and go on to bigger places 🙂

    I’m sorry that some commenters are cruel, though

    • I have only had one negative comment on this blog. And I did laugh at it but wondered what was the motivation behind it? It’s not just the trolls that make terrible comments. I hope you never get such a comment on your site. 🙂

  • Very, very clever writing. I loved it x

    • Thank you 🙂 And thank you so much for sharing. x

  • Fantastic blog post. I don’t think critics know the impact of their words when they leave such nasty comments on blogs. I tell myself that most people who criticize are new tou blog, and may have only read 500 words that I wrote, so come without context. When things got really yucky (after Reddit) I got my fiancé to moderate comments.

    • Yes it’s good to remind yourself that they are only judging a small snippet of your life by one post but you know what, don’t judge at all. My husband and mum read my comments too. It’s good to have comment ‘angels’ to assist with the comment maintenance. x

  • Jenni from styling curvy

    Brilliant Bec…nailed it

    • Thanks Jenni. You are nailing life at the moment. x

  • Ingrid – fabulous and fun life

    Well said Bec! I’m lucky so far not to have had any negativity on my blog. I don’t think I would cope too well with it if it happened!

    • Ingrid I hope it never happens to you, but if it does, you know you need to block them straight away. Keep blogging and on that great space of yours. x

  • writeofthemiddle

    OMG – very clever Bec! I have not had a negative and/or nasty visitor to my bloggy home as yet but should I ever they will be blocked as quick as a flash! xo

    • Min, I hope you never get a negative or nasty visitor. Your site is a lovely one to visit. x

  • Nice one, Bec! x

    • PS – I’ve never had anyone be rude to me online, but something I did take from your words was how crazy it is that we continue to be polite and try to please people who are so abhorrent. We need to stand up for ourselves more, both online and IRL. Show them the door the minute they kick the dog, so to speak. x

      • Yes, I have been known in the past to be a people pleaser and want everyone to like me but it’s not possible and there are some people who just won’t get or like me. That’s ok. Move on and don’t bring a sister down.

    • Thank you. x

  • Genius! Excellent writing!

  • You did so well here and your post made me feel sick before you reached your point – negative comments do make people feel sick. I don’t understand these people and I certainly don’t entertain them. It’s a door slam from me. x

    • Love it Jody. If the situation were real I would have slammed the door too… but who knows how we would really have reacted when put in a situation like that? The negativity online seems to be getting worse and it brewed into this post. x

  • I really admire your patience….If she doesn’t like what she sees, she has every right to leave. Some people just bear negativity, and that’s just the way they are. Nothing is never good enough, and they’ll never be happy! I’m so lucky my clients are all very nice and haven’t had bad comments on FB yet….(I hope I didn’t just jinx it..)

    • You bring up a great point. Wouldn’t it be great to reach these negative people so that they can break up from whatever is keeping them negative. Life is a blessing and they should be enjoying it. I wonder how they really feel deep down when they’ve let loose on the keyboard. Does it affect their heart or are they too hardened hearted to care or notice? And you won’t have jinxed yourself, but if you do get a negative comment, you know what you need to do. 🙂

  • 26 Years & Counting

    This should be compulsory reading for anyone on the internet. Very well done, Bec!

    • Thanks Vanessa. I hope it sends a clear message… but then for some it may not.

  • Oh my goodness, I was LIVID reading this. I was just so outraged that anyone would act like that in your home. I was so confused!

    But you are SO right. It would just NEVER happen like this in real life. No one would ever speak to you like that in your home and treat your life like an open house to pick apart and criticise and abuse. It’s just mind boggling that people find it ok to do online. I loved this. Thank you xx

    • Considered Opinion

      Maybe it would happen and someone would say something negative it if you invited thousands of strangers in to your actual home. An unfortunate part of a public profile even if it uncalled for.

      • I really don’t think so. People have no guts when it comes to saying something to someone else’s face. They may give you attitude or they might be a little huffy, but they’d NEVER be as abusive as they are online.

      • I don’t care if someone has 1 follower or 100,000’s. We can all agree to disagree in a civil manner. BUT attacking a person online because they disagree with what they’ve written and swearing their head off at them like a drunken sailor… sorry that is NOT on.

    • Thanks so much Lauren. You totally got my post. Most trolls and bullies when stood up to in person wouldn’t be able to say what they write online. The screen and the keyboard is their shield.

  • Ok did this really happen in your home Bec? If so, I think my comments would not be very reserved. If it is a very clever way to show readers an insight into the world of a blogger than it is quite insightful. However, my home is my safe place, it is where the hopes and dreams of my family live. If I physically open my front door and let you in then it is a sacred space I am allowing you into – no photoshop, no instagram filters, no edited content. My blog is edited, it is photoshopped, there are filters, what I allow you to see is exactly that – what I allow you to see – so in a way I have detached from the content the moment it is online. While in my home, the bricks and mortar of my life – I am never detached from that and if someone walked in who behaved in the way that you described I would not only ask them to leave I would physically usher them out and then close the door firmly behind them. As for my blog – the door is always open. The rules are different.

    • Sarah

      Agreed. It seems a little far fetched to me. Your home is your private sanctuary, your blog is an open forum. The moment the woman called my child that name, I would swiftly kick her out. My mother taught me to be respectful when in another persons home, others may not be as fortunate as yourself or as educated on cleanliness. If you’re invited into my home, then respect it and its inhabitants. A blog is a little different from your home. Like Josefa said, detach yourself from the content.
      There will always be people who disagree with what you publish. When they’re trolling or bullying, turn of the computer and enjoy the private sanctuary that is your home.

      • Respect shouldn’t just happen in someone’s home, it should happen online too. That was the point I was trying to make, but I do understand that a blog and home are different. And in relation to detaching from the blog…. if you are blogging from the heart, this is a hard thing for any human to do unless of course their blog is just words which would be sad because blogs are so much more than that.

        • Jennifer Tammy

          My blog is my home on the internet. I have poured my heart and soul into every inch of it. Perhaps more so than my home some weeks. I don’t have my thoughts written out on my walls at home, so my blog is actually more intimate. To have someone visit and try to graffiti my “online home” is just as invasive as a rude visitor… perhaps moreso, because I can’t always reply.

    • Considered Opinion

      Josefa so well said. I agree in part with this post – but on the flipside I read blog and facebook posts all the
      time from bloggers who’s opinions are sometimes quite judgmental and
      opinionated from their platform (as are all manner of public commentators) about all manner of topics and people –
      some about people within their own inner circle. I think that trolling, rudeness and bad
      language should not be tolerated but if someone doesnt agree with them
      even in a polar opposite and strongly framed position they seem to take
      complete offense. And the troops rally.

      I even read some bloggers
      recently all bitching to each other about someone daring to ask for
      free PR and a helping hand
      – mags call that editorial – and they still offer it and companies ask
      them too all the time –
      but the bloggers were all saying (quite openly) ‘dont they know who we are’? I
      understand their right to monetise their business but I was
      just STUNNED by their sense of entitlement? their ego’s? and the direct
      bitchiness within their own group to belittle someone for ASKING????

      Quite
      often these sorts of posts are filled with high fiving bloggers
      rallying in a protective manner but any responses that disagree – such
      as this will be howled down rather than standing back and taking stock.
      It’s just my considered opinion, not meant to be rude or inflammatory
      but I dont think that bloggers are always being realistic or objective.

      • Hugzilla

        The magazine analogy is flawed, because magazines make money from selling advertising, and brands will often receive “free” editorial in exchange for a buying a paid advert. Lots of blogs don’t have this kind of income stream. Magazines don’t offer free publicity out of the goodness of their hearts, but bloggers are expected to? It’s not about entitlement at all. It’s about fairness. If brands want blogs to advertise their product, why should they expect that for free? That’s where the entitlement is. It’s not about ego at all. It’s about being valued and being treated with respect.

        • Truth said right there and I couldn’t have written it better myself.

        • Considered Opinion

          Again, I agree in part with what you are saying but dont think it is flawed?? – when you break it down bloggers operate along similar principals as magazines. Bloggers also – as you directly state – “make money from selling advertising, and brands will often receive “free” editorial in exchange for a buying a paid advert” – which would be sidebar or banner advertising or sponsored post as you call them. I see bloggers spruiking the same brands over and over and over. Do they truly love them and hence recommend them, are they working more exclusively with cashed up companies (losing their impartiality?) or are they friends with benefits?

          I worked for magazines for years and we always gave loads of free editorial (out of the goodness of their heart – especially for newer companies with fresh, innovative product or services of value) – a lot of the digital magazine content today is still actually true editorial as well because of the volume of content and how quickly it evolves unlike magazines which have X number of pages to fill and pay for. Not every beauty product is a product placement.

          Bloggers also have the opportunity for affiliate marketing, paid adverts and sponsored posts (at various levels of remuneration depending on their popularity) and not always transparently disclosed – I think that ‘editorial’ consideration is different to paid content – otherwise they are in danger of just being selective arbiters of offers rather than authentic voices of true opinions and perceived influencers. Probably a lot of blogs don’t have that level of income stream partly because they are blogs and there are so many of them clawing their way to the top for recognition. I suspect lesser known magazine titles would be a little more generous with free editorial to get a balance of content and fill pages.

          Bringing it up in this post context was about the tone and belittlement by the bloggers. They were just asked – politely? impolitely? well articulated? clumsy? who knows? repeatedly by different companies? didn’t say they weren’t entitled to monetise I was just stunned by the
          quite literal statement – “don’t they know who we are”? Does that not
          just sound a little bit entitled and egotistical?And isnt that respect a 2 way street? Those are still potential paying customers even if it has to be negotiated and with a bit of give and take. It’s called business. And everybody likes something for free. Sometimes the shifting sands of bloggers rules are unknown and the faux pas’ are quite unintentional by the person asking.

          • Considered Opinion

            And sometimes I suspect bloggers are repeatedly asked by the same challenging people expecting everything for nothing and it gives them the total $hits. 🙂

          • Hugzilla

            I think that is a big part of the problem. I am small fry in the grand scheme of blogging but I get an endless stream of requests from brands wanting something for nothing, many of whom clearly have not read my blog or know what I’m about. It gets exasperating, and I can understand the frustration of a group of bloggers coming together to bemoan this state of affairs, because I know it happens a lot.

            Emails sent back with media kits and rates come back with churlish replies from cashed-up major brands crying they have “no budget” for blogger outreach. Sure, there are bloggers who are fortunate enough to make a living from their content, but I would hazard a guess that the majority of bloggers don’t. It’s faintly ludicrous for big brands to expect amateur (as in, not monetised) bloggers to plug their stuff for free, because they are people who have bills to pay too. It places zero value on blogs as potential marketing vehicles and zero value on the reach and influence of the blogger, who has no doubt worked very hard to build and engage their audience.

      • I love your point about differing opinion. I think bloggers or anyone who writes online need to have the maturity and confidence to accept someone’s different opinion and respect it. Agree to disagree. Let’s not hate and irritate. You’ve also brought up some interesting points as well in relation to sponsored content.

    • The rules shouldn’t be different. Whether in your home or online, negative comments that bring you down should not be tolerated or even written. I’m not talking about differing opinion either. I love hearing from someone who thinks different to me and tells me in away that doesn’t belittle me. It’s about respect. The rude lady is just an analogy and the visit did not happen in my home. You make a great point about home being different to a blog. But your blog is your heart. I see it in your writing no matter how well crafted, edited or photoshopped it is. The content is from your heart and if it’s not I’d be asking why you’re blogging in the first place.
      The point I was trying to make in my post is that it shouldn’t matter whether it’s in your home or online, respect is important and being blatantly negative and leaving comments that can affect a person emotionally is not on.

  • Lisa

    Great post Bec, I was wondering who is this woman & why is she talking to you like that! Such wonderful writing xx

    • Thank you Lisa. I’m glad you understood my point. 🙂

  • What a great post Bec – very clever. For a while I thought the visitor was your own negative self-talk (mine is a bitch like that – I would never talk to someone else the way I talk to myself). Very well-made point about nasty, judgemental blog and social media comments. Just brilliant.

    • Thanks Kathy and when I read it again I can see how you came to that conclusion with the negative talk – especially with the body stuff. 🙂

  • Powerful post, Bec. I haven’t encountered a lot of negativity but the one time I did was in response to one of my most honest and revealing posts. A reader replied: “You chose to have 3 kids in 3 years so it’s your own fault. No sympathy from me.” I couldn’t believe that anyone could show such a complete lack of empathy. Luckily plenty of other readers related to my post and thanked me for my honesty….

    • Such a ridiculous comment and it often comes from jealousy or pride. And that’s so it… where is empathy these days? It’s replaced by judgement. So glad your readers could relate to your post. I reckon if I read that post now I could relate to it right this second with my current season of life.

  • Very well said Bec. But sorry I’m confused, did you in fact have a physical visitor that said and did all those things? That is atrocious. I want to give you a big hug. Never contact that person again. x

    • No, I didn’t have a visitor. It was just an analogy. Sorry, I didn’t mean to cause confusion. And you are the best. I’m so glad to know you through blogging. You wouldn’t put up with this crap. x

  • Love the analogy! So well written, you had me til the end. I thought you were going to say it was your mum or someone close you felt you couldn’t say anything to!

    • Janice Jones

      Hi Danielle I can assure you as her Mum I would be the first person to show that woman the door Big Tiger Mumma here No one would dare do that with Bec or granddaughters if I was around

    • LOL… sadly some people have mums or mother-in-laws that talk to them that way, but not me as my mum has kindly told you. 🙂 So glad you understood the analogy in the end. Some missed it.

  • BabyMacBlogBeth

    Yes! All of that. Great post x

    • Thanks Beth. Hope you’re travelling well with your pregnancy. I keep thinking how amazing this year will be for you and your family. You totally made the right decision to add to your family. x

  • I really hope that this was just a story to get your point across, what a horrible woman. I am yet to have any negativity on my blog but I think I would probably block them if they were being rude, rather than just expressing an opinion.

    • Yes, just a story Malinda to get my point about negativity online. And please block anyone being rude or negative on your space. Opinions even if they differ to your own are different to blatant online bullying.

  • Oh Bec … just brilliant. x

  • michelle barrington

    Oh GREAT post!!

  • Wonderful analogy. I never read comments on my pieces that are published on publications that aren’t my personal blog for that exact reason. People who don’t even know you say the nastiest things. Wonderful blog post.

    • Gosh Christine, good on you for protecting yourself by not reading the comments. I’ve had blogging friends who have had their work published by big media blogs and the comments are just horrible.

  • Standing ovation Bec. Love it!

  • @dianaphotographyaustralia

    Wow! Your point couldn’t have been made clearer. Beautifully written. Perfect! 🙂

  • Oh I get it every day! I give advice to help people win at life (always postivie, very up beat and a bit cheeky) but there will always be one dickhead every day who’s all ‘THIS ADVICE DOESN’T DIRECTLY APPLY TO ME AND MY LIFE! YOU’RE A MORON! STOP EXISTING!’. I love this post but unfortunately it’s preaching to the converted. The rude dickheads won’t read it and if they do, they’ll be rude dickheads about it. 🙂

    • Hugzilla

      LOL. SO true.

    • Haha! Yep. Seems to have happened already.

    • I’m sorry you get this every day Smags. I love your space online. How the heck can we make it stop? I guess you can’t teach someone who thinks with their nether regions. x

  • I love, love, love this post Bec! I think sometimes others forget we’re real people behind the screen.

    • Thanks Toni and yes, I think a lot of people forget and don’t think before they write.

  • Great post! What a creative way of speaking about the issue. Well done Bec!

    • Thanks Karin. I hope you never experience it on your fabulous site.

  • LouisaG

    such a beautifully written piece, good one. I’m sure posting this you will have made a HUGE difference. We all need to stop and think about what we say, and what we think of others. I try to be kind, and to remember that everyone is doing their best, not matter how well or not they are doing it. <3

    • Thanks Louisa. I hope the message gets across. I’m not sure how else to stop it or what else can be done to prevent it from happening. People who write online are people with a beating heart and they are valued. They shouldn’t be criticized or brought down even if their opinions differ from their own.

  • Wow. You are so polite if that lady really existed and visited and said those things. What an ugly human being but such a perfect illustration for what happens here on the net. This is my favorite post of yours Bec.Bravo! x

    • The lady didn’t exist thank goodness but she’s out there right now reading as I type. Or it could be a man. I’m so glad you understood the analogy and thank you for your encouraging comment. It’s a different type of post from me than what I normally write. Hope you are going well. x

  • TeganMC

    This is a great analogy. I’ve gotten a couple of negative comments but they were so ridiculous I just laughed. However I have had someone use a link to my blog in a blog post on a site that was anti everything I’m trying to achieve. The site was full of hate about people with borderline. I asked for it to be removed and their response was that I should make my blog private if I didn’t want people to use it. That annoyed me so much…that I told him to leave it there so at least people looking for support would find a link to my blog. The funny thing was that he took it down after that.

    • That’s terrible Tegan, and interesting with their response in the end. I don’t understand the motivation. Your blog is a much needed voice in the blogosphere. I’ve learned so much about mental health after reading your blog. x

  • Great post. I hope people get the message. I’m fortunate not to have gotten any negative comments on my blog to date, (i hope i havent jinxed myself now) but my blog doesnt have a big following. I think if I ever do I’d probably delete it, as I did state in my disclosure section of my blog that I would.

    • Cam I’m glad to read that you haven’t experienced any negative comments. You don’t have to have a big following to get one from my experience. You just have to hit someone’s nerve without realizing. And deleting is the perfect response. 🙂

  • Jo

    Impressive writing Miss Bec – you nailed it! You were amazing to keep your cool with that nasty lady!

    • Thanks Jo. It’s a different type of post than I normally write. 🙂

  • Aren’t you a clever lady!! Great post Bec.
    I used to work in retail so I know that people are rude face to face and not just online. I remember being abused once as the shop I was working in would be shut for 2 days over Christmas. I have no doubt that lady probably harasses businesses over facebook now.

    • Ann how horrible to deal with someone like that in person over something quite trivial. x

  • Brilliantly put Bec. V x

  • Grace

    I still don’t understand why people feel that it’s their right to be so rude and negative simply because “you decided to share it on your blog”.
    I’m a firm believer of if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Or at the least, be smart and sensitive enough to state your opinion without being rude and aggressive. There’s always a civil and polite way to get your opinion across.

    • I agree Grace and this is exactly what I was hoping to get across. We can agree to disagree but there is a right way in doing it.

  • OMG, is this for real. Did you really open your house to a stranger…surely someone couldn’t possibly be that rude. That is so terrible. Or is it just written to make everyone realise what nasty comments are REALLY like. Thanks so much, I loved reading and you have done a wonderful job. My first time reading here at The Plumbette. Thanks a million. Wonderful writing.

    • It’s just written that way to get the emotions going of how it feels to get negative comments. I think I got my point across. No lady came to my house. And thank you for coming over to visit. Don’t make it your last. x

  • You are so clever! You did have me worried at the start, great post! xx

    • Thanks Dannielle and thank you for sharing the post on Facebook. How amazing is your blog going? I just love it. 🙂

      • You are just gorgeous Bec. It was my absolute pleasure to share your post, it was amazing! Have a great week! X

  • Hugzilla

    You forgot the bit where they brought a shotgun in and wanted to punch you (I’m being literal here too, sigh), but other than that, I thought it was pretty spot on. I handle the negativity the way I handle most things. With humour. And blog posts.

    • Yes, you have great humour and you are ballsy to put them in blog posts but good on you for working out a way to handle it.

  • Kaz @ MeltingMoments

    A great message!

    • Thanks Kaz. I hope it was read loud and clear. 🙂

  • Lisa Mckenzie

    Love this Bec so very true and so sad Xx

    • Thanks Lisa. You are like the blogging angel, leaving lovely comments on blogs and social media. Don’t stop interacting. We need more readers and supporters like you. xx

  • I just never understand the online bullying… love this writing. Great post x

    • Thanks Tahlia. I don’t get online bullying either. I don’t get bullying full stop. x

  • Love this post Bec! 🙂

  • Yes, just yes.

  • kathy rossiter

    Beautifully written, thankyou

  • Excellent work. I have blogged about this sort of thing before. The most recent was getting told to kill myself for being openly feminist. I guess I see a divide between online and in the real world- people are allowed to share whatever they think and feel and will more likely engage in debate online particularly with people they’d otherwise not have the chance to do so with- but there is no reason to do so abusively.

    • WHAT THE? That is a dreadful thing to write. And yes, a blog is run differently to a home, but no matter the platform, no matter how many readers/followers/fans you have no one deserves to be abused for having an opinion or sharing online. It’s about remembering everyone has a beating heart!!

  • Fantastically written Bec. Some people just don’t have common decency or manners, it’s amazing how brave the distance of a keyboard and computer screen can make some people.

    • So true Lauren. The keyboard and screen act like a shield. Wouldn’t it be great for someone to create a plugin that you can put on your blog so the moment someone decides to leave a nasty comment, it can be tracked back and that person can be found?

  • Beautifully written Bec. Although the blog is an open forum, it certainly doesn’t give anyone the right to be rude or disrespectful. Share opinions, debate, discuss – certainly, but there is a way in which to act and it shouldn’t be different online as to in person.

    • Jodi, you nailed it on the head. This was what I was trying to get across. I wish I could copy and paste your comment to a few comments up above so they get the point.

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths

    So very true – why do people feel they have the right to judge and criticise everything that they see online? In real life, it would never be tolerated but unfortunately online anonymity makes it harder for people to be held account. So glad this has been shared far and wide Bec x

    • Thanks Kirsty. I can’t believe how far and wide this post has gone. It’s a bit different to the types of posts I write. On an unrelated matter, I hope this year is a great one for you as you work from home. x

  • dee

    The haters are probably bullies in real life too. I reported a comment on Facebook in which an unknown
    woman was swearing and calling the person who had posted a bitch and other things that was so random and totally unnecessary. Facebook came back with it’s fine and does not contravene our policies. These bullies can just get away with abhorrent behavior more easily online!

    • I reckon you have a point Dee, and you are not the first one to tell me this scenario with Facebook. It was mentioned above about having laws in place to stop bullying happening online. It would be messy to control though but think of all the jobs it would create.

  • <3

  • What a brilliant post! I personally wouldn’t have made her a cup of tea!

    • Haha. Yeah… I should have made her coffee. JOKES. Thank you for the comment. x

  • Such a great way of saying it Bec!

  • Awesomely written Bec!
    I do wonder in 5-10 years time where things will be? Will the laws finally catch up and deal with this or will we be exactly where we are at now, only worse? Only time will tell I guess.

    • Gosh Shannon, I hope it does change. Think about the jobs it will create if laws were put in place!

  • So very clever Bec. well thought out brilliantly composed. Love it x

  • Great post, it can happen from friends too and every now and again I want to give it no holes barred back to them, but then I think – don’t feed the trolls… We are after all just people trying to have fun, enjoy life and get through the tough stuff with some kindness…

    • I agree Kate, Sometimes responding back just gives them more ammunition to come back. Once the line is crossed, that person needs to be blocked from ever commenting again. No second chances with me I’m afraid.

  • Very clever post, and so true too! As the saying goes, if don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all – unfortunately in the online world it’s all to easy for others to leave nasty comments, I wonder if they would say the same face to face?

    • Thanks Erika. I love that saying about being nice. Sadly it’s not always done on the net. 🙁

  • Sometimes I think people are more inclined to say things from the safety of a computer screen. They would’t normally say these things to your face….well some might I suppose. But I guess as bloggers we are opening ourselves up for criticism, if we didn’t have thick skins, we wouldn’t keep doing what we are doing….

    • So true. I get that we do open ourselves for criticism, but not blatant attacks that are personally threatening. Keep spreading the love I say. 🙂

  • Housewife in Heels

    You clever thing

  • A well written post, Bec. I’m amazed that I’ve been blogging for almost 3 years and haven’t really be trolled yet. I see it so often and gosh it makes me angry. It doesn’t matter for what reason someone blogs, it’s just not the right thing to do. Would those people go up to that person and say it to their face? I bet they wouldn’t! The internet has unfortunately given people something to hide behind.

    • So good to hear Eva. You are doing great in the blogging world. It makes me angry when people don’t think before they type or they just blatantly want to hurt people with their words. I guess this post came to me from the frustration of seeing too many of my blogging friends get hit with bad comments. x

  • Brilliant post Bec. I feel lucky that in 3 1/2 years blogging I have never been attacked but I get sick hearing other people’s stories or witnessing critical comments. I definitely agree with the home analogy. Just because you invite someone in does not give them the right to be rude or aggressive- people hide behind keyboards and lash out when they know they would never say the same thing in person.

    • Thanks Deb. I’m so pleased to hear that you haven’t had any negativity on your blog. And I’m glad you get what I was trying to portray in my post and in the comments above. x

  • Brilliant! The mother-judging has to stop! I’ve had the ‘you spend too much time on Social media and not enough time with your kids’ so often it actually hurts. Bad. This is what I love. This is part of who I am. My kids are some of the most well rounded kids I know. Thanks for this Bec.

  • I agree with Vanessa Bec – EVERYONE needs to read this and think before they leave comments. Well done hun xx

  • Wow! That was bloody brilliant!

  • Nailed it and I came via Baby Mac – I agree 100%.

  • Jennifer Tammy

    I want to link to this at the beginning of every post I write — well done!

  • Sheridan Anne

    Love love love this! We aren’t going to please everyone, and by all means I want my readers to have an opinion, but respectfully and in a polite and civil manner.
    The Internet just is not as anonymous as people think. Cringing but loving reading this post

  • Amazing post. Absolutely loved it, thank you. xx

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