very bad moments

When Life has Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Moments

When I feel overwhelmed by my family and life in general, I like to watch a movie that reminds me I much prefer my crazy than someone else’s. I love watching Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day. I even like watching Cheaper by the Dozen. These movies offer a filter free view of family life. It’s messy, it’s busy, it’s chaotic, it’s crazy, it’s full of love one moment and full of anger and tantrums the next.

Yesterday morning was one of those crazy mornings where everything went wrong. But in hindsight, it actually didn’t. We faced the challenges head on and got on with what we had to do. Yet at the time, it felt frustrating and annoying.

kids building a fort

I started yesterday morning by sleeping in. And even though I needed the sleep, not getting up that extra hour meant I wasn’t able to get some stuff done before the kids got up. So I felt behind the eight ball before my morning had started.

When I finally got out of bed, Jacob told me he found our freezer door open in the garage, which meant all of our meat, that we buy in bulk, had defrosted.
Phoebe had opened the freezer door on Sunday to get an ice block but didn’t shut the door properly, so all night, our meat had slowly defrosted, and a puddle of meat juice congregated at the freezer door. Thankfully all the meat was still cold, but it meant I had to cook it all that morning if I was going to salvage it. This wasn’t on my long to-do-list.

phoebe

The moment I got up, the kids kept asking me where we would go for the day and in frustration I told them, nowhere. Of course my answer was met with ‘that’s boring, we want to go somewhere.’ I checked our bank account, hoping a late work payment would be in our account. No such luck. I hadn’t been paid. This meant we were definitely not going anywhere.

Jacob left to catch the bus to go to work, only to come home 15 minutes later because the bus hadn’t arrived and he needed to drive to work which meant I would be carless for the day.

In the scheme of things it wasn’t a big deal. But when you’re emotional, tired and dealing with kids that don’t understand the consequences to their actions, it felt all too much.

After Jacob left to go to work a second time, I had a friend come by my house to pick up a spare car seat so she could take her boys down to Sea World for the day. I burst into tears when she arrived because I wished we could have joined her. But we couldn’t and I had meat to cook and three girls to entertain – at the same time.

It was good to have the cry, and get out what was sitting on my chest. Once the waterworks finished, I got on with what I had to do, one meal at a time.

Sometimes, life has Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Moments. And each moment may be different for all of us, but there’s no denying the emotions that come with dealing with the unexpected.

In the scheme of things, nothing was dangerous or life-threatening. They were just mini inconveniences that piled on top of each other.

I reminded myself, my girls have not missed out these holidays. We’ve been to the park, made craft, watched movies, eaten chocolate and had special outings that will make for amazing childhood memories.

kids with poppy the troll

And we are so far removed from the horrors happening in Syria. Yet despite the distance, the videos and images that have come through on social media have made me cry in despair. Watching a human suffer is torture. A child gasping for air. It’s torture from behind the screen because there is NOTHING we can do… except pray. Pray for justice, pray for peace and pray that world leaders make the right decisions in dealing this evil.

We lost another beautiful blogger this week – Emma from Dear Melanoma. I’d been following the Facebook updates recently as family shared what had been happening these last few weeks since Emma was admitted to hospital. In her mid-twenties, this young gem of a girl was taken too soon.

When we experience Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Moments, we are reminded of our humanness and frailty. And how precious life is.

I’m so grateful for my family. I love my girls and my husband so very much. But sometimes the demands of raising a family can rob me of my joy. And in those moments, I have to read this post that I wrote for Mumtastic to remind myself that these frustrations and feelings of being overwhelmed and inadequate are only temporary.

Motherhood is full of Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Moments. But they pass. You get through difficult moments and they build your resilience for the next time you’re hit with the unexpected.

I got all the meat cooked so all our dinners are pre-cooked this week, which means less stress for me working out what we will have for dinner. What was meant to be an inconvenience, was now my gain.

And we all made it through the day, but I may have inhaled a Cadbury Chocolate Easter Egg after lunch, because sometimes chocolate takes off the edge off a crazy day.

How do you deal with very bad moments? How are your kids these school holidays? Do you get worn down by life and it’s responsibilities?

  • Cate Brickell

    today is a new day, but in the moment it must have been hard to stay calm. Pre cooked dinners for the week is a bonus, though

    • Yes, pre-cooked dinners were a good outcome in the end. Hope you’re doing well Cate. x

  • Ahh Bec. I feel for you and I hear you. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to set off the waterworks when you’re already exhausted and in demand constantly. Seeing a puddle of meat juice would definitely have me vomiting, crying and having a massive tanty. I love how you always look at the silver lining. You’re an awesome mum and doing your best. Let’s hope there aren’t any more terrible horrible no good bad days anytime soon. xx

    • I could only imagine how you would have reacted to the meat juices being a vegetarian. Thanks for the chin up comment. Love ya heaps. x

  • Totally worn out! But then we just pack up and head to the coast to get out of reality for a day or two and breathe. Even though I am still on my laptop working and trying to stay on top of things, I don’t feel as RESPONSIBLE I guess when I’m out of my home. The burden does’t feel the same.

    • Gosh Leanne, it’s been more than a week since I wrote this post. I hope you’ve had some good sleep and time to breathe. xx

  • Ingrid – fabulous and fun life

    I get stressed out easily! And yes parenting is hard work especially when things don’t go as planned! Chocolate definitely helps! I’m envious of your silver lining – I would love to have a week’s worth of dinners already cooked!

    I hope you have an easier week ahead!

    Ingrid
    http://www.fabulousandfunlife.blogspot.com.au

  • When it rains it pours, and when the bad days come, they certainly come. Take time out to remember that you’re doing a great job, and that tomorrow is fresh and shiny, full of new opportunities.

  • Tracy

    When I get overwhelmed I have a good cry, then grit my teeth and get on with it, because curling up in a ball on the floor is rarely a helpful response. It is rarely family life that sends me to tears these days. It’s normally work, because the job I do is completely overwhelming much of the time. It’s like doing three full time jobs in the time frame of one. I am learning to accept that I will never have it all done, just done enough.

    • Gosh Tracy, I hope you’re doing ok. When work is stressful and overwhelming it can be hard to deal with. That sounds insane what you’re doing. I hope you can find a rhythm and balance and peace knowing you can only do what you can in the time you’ve got to get the work done. xx

  • Natalie @ Our Parallel Connect

    Trying to stay positive when things around you seem to be building up is difficult. A friend committed suicide 2 weeks ago and every time I am struggling, I think about him and try to understand how it can be so bad that there is no out.

    • Oh Natalie, I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending comfort to you and this friend’s loved ones. What a difficult time for all of you. xxxx

  • It’s amazing how hard “small” things are when we’re worn out! I think that’s why I’m so anti competing for busy, because we all have different energy and tolerances and moods by day. Sometimes you need a good, therapeutic cry!

    • So true Ness. I have been quite busy of late. If I wasn’t so busy, I wonder if I would have reacted as I did. x

  • Bec, that really, really sucks. I’ve had a few days like that too recently, so it’s nice to hear I’m not alone, but I’m sorry you had such a sucky day- here’s hoping things get better from here xx

    • Thanks Pip. Thankfully they did pick up later that week. But you know what life can be like with kids, great one day and crappy the next. xx

  • The sometimes overwhelm and kids go hand in hand I think. A good cry is cleansing and chocolate always helps! Xx

    • Yes, crying and chocolate are some of the best forms of therapy! x

  • Days like that suck because once enough stuff piles up there is almost no way to dial it all back. Biggest hugs and hope that is your one major bad day this year.

  • Arggggh life..some days it just sucks…and the ‘snowball’ effect makes us feel that it’s US being targeted. Of course, at time goes on that diminishes. That freezer debacle sure is not great. Is there anyway you can change how it might not happen again. I feel for you Bec. You have done well to be able to put it into perspective. Denyse #teamIBOT

    • Thanks Denyse. I’ve put something in front of the freezer door now so it’s harder for Phoebe to open. Amazing how a week later, I can smile about it. 🙂

  • Life just sucks sometimes doesn’t it. We all have days when the world seems to be against us. Such sad news about Dear Melanoma. What a fierce and brave fight she put up. Her memory and all that she accomplished in her short life will live on forever.

    • Yes, what a gorgeous girl gone too soon. Life is really a mixed bag isn’t it?

  • I think crying is cathartic and chocolate is therapeutic – the perfect way to deal with a horrible day. There are so many terrible things happening near and far, and so many lives have so much suffering, I try and remind myself that even though every day may not be good, there is always something good in every day. A little bit of perspective and gratitude go a long way! PS Having all the meals cooked for the week, now that’s what I call one step ahead 🙂

    • Yes, we still have a few meals that are already cooked in the freezer. It’s prompted me to cook in bulk more often!

  • I feel for your hard day – even when we know it’s not huge in the scheme of things, it’s still hard and bleh and sucky. Good on you for seeing the bigger picture – sometimes I just get caught in the downward spiral.

    • I did get caught in the spiral. But I try not to stay low for long. Hope you’re doing well lovely. xx

  • Days like those are crappy! Amazing how you have been able to put things in perspective at the end of it all but I think it’s perfectly valid to feel shitty for a while too 🙂

    • Thanks Sanchie. I did sit in my pity party mood most of the morning It wasn’t fun for me or the kids!

  • Haha. Love it! I wouldn’t have minded a champagne or two that morning to perk things up. We got through in the end!

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