From adolescence, I remember being taught that our heart was Jesus’s home and it was a home that had many rooms. Some rooms were open for Jesus to enter, and others were not because we closed the door for a reason. It was either too painful, too hard or ignorance in thinking Jesus wouldn’t be interested in dwelling in that room.
As a young’un, the way I visualized my heart and it’s many rooms was the way I compartmentalized my life. There was the family section, the school section, the friend section, the things I like to do by myself section and a church section. Now, I have plenty of rooms and subsections of sections. My heart is a mansion and a replica of the house that Jack built or rather the house that Bec built.
I have so many rooms and I’m not sure if Jesus has been in every single one of them. Or he has and he’s wondering on the stability of that new extension. I’m wondering whether I need to downgrade the house because I feel like there is so much going on in my life.
And really there isn’t a lot going on in my life. Other than I have three young kids that keep me on my toes all day long, writing work that keeps me busy at night and bits and pieces in between like paying bills and cleaning the house that have started to become more of a drain than a joy.
On Monday I had a bit of a bleh moment where I wanted to connect with readers on Facebook but I was at a loss as to what to share. What was the point of sharing another pretty picture? Why are we so driven by the beautiful? Why are we so keen to show off beautifully styled parts of our home when in reality, if you have little kids, the décor doesn’t stay that way for long? Is it really to inspire, or is it to show off our spectacular styling skills?
Can I admit I am not so great at styling homes? Our house is a collective mish mash of trends. We have African décor that was purchased on our trip to Uganda over 10 years ago which has seen better days. The poor elephants no longer have ears and the tusks have been lost so we insert toothpicks in the holes to replicate what was there. Get a piece of that #Kmarthacks.
Don’t get me wrong, I love interiors. I enjoy watching renovating shows and seeing the final outcome but how often do I stop and focus on the interior of my heart and soul?
How is the décor fairing in my heart? Is everything neat and tidy as it should be in my heart or am I an utter complete mess and in need of a declutter because too much has been hoarded from the world?
I love a clean home, but I really want a pure heart. A heart that is steadfast and patient. If Jesus was to walk through each room of my heart, I’d want him to feel love as opposed to seeing a framed quote saying ‘Love Lives Here’ (and just a small plug for Kirsten from Kirsten and Co who made this gorgeous print which you can order for yourself here). While each room doesn’t necessarily have to be tidy, it needs to be open for Jesus to enter and to do his work and I think out of ignorance, there are some rooms that are closed because it’s just too hard. I’m too busy.
When I should be dwelling on readings from the Bible, I’m scrolling through Facebook to see what other bloggers are up to. My excuse is it’s part of my job to keep up-to-date with what’s going online.
When I should be praying and sharing my concerns to God, I’m reading blogs and checking out Instagram and admitting the same excuses again.
I know what I ought to do, but I don’t do it because life is busy and I’m easily distracted. There’s not enough time to fit everything in so God gets squeezed out. And usually He is in the undercurrent of everything I do, I want to have specific block times with Him but it hasn’t happened. Just like those Date Nights.
I know that I’m in a hard season of life. I know the time will change where it will be easy to carve out an hour to spend with God but then again, I’ve heard it gets harder as the kids are older because there’s after school activities, homework, friendship issues that take over your mind with worry.
Last Tuesday night I went to a women’s connect group and it was fabulous. I was apprehensive about going because my night times are specifically for writing work and doing my blog because that’s the only time I have kid free to focus on it. So to lose a whole night to go to a bible study was a big call. But it was a good one.
Making a decision to clean the interior of my heart happens by making smalls steps and saying yes to the things that will help with the declutter and add value by replacing that clutter with wisdom.
Life is busy and an organized and stylish home can do wonders for a sane state of mind but what lives inside that interior is what really matters. I want a happy heart and I don’t want to be defined by what I own, but rather what I’ve sown.
How is the interior of your heart? Do you get like me and focus too much on worldly stuff rather than what really matters in life?
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” NIV version Proverbs 24:3
