The last couple of weeks I have had my brain stuck in ‘Bec’s world’ where I have been praying and thinking about what I really want in life.
The catalyst for this sudden focus on myself has been decisions that have been made that will affect what I do in the future and I need to start to work out now what it is I want so I can plan for when these decisions take place.
But I don’t really know what I want. And does what I want align with what God wants for me too?
I can feel fear start to creep in my heart as I think about the decisions I need to make and yet, another part of me feels peaceful and reassures me that everything will work out as it has before.
Do you know what you want?
It’s a self-focused question and one that we all should ask ourselves.
But sometimes we pursue paths that look easier than others and never really feel fulfilled because we haven’t pursued what our heart desires.
I’ve been so absorbed in myself lately that I had to stop this week and ask God what it is that He truly wants me to be. For the non-christian this can seem wishy-washy and almost like God is an authoritarian and tells me what I should and shouldn’t do. But it’s not like that.
God’s plans are good and they have a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11), so I know that whatever direction he takes me will be ultimately for my benefit and for His Glory. It’s been proven throughout my life. And just because God points me in a certain direction doesn’t mean the journey will be easy. I’m certain that steps of faith will need to be stepped.
The last couple of weeks since going to the Problogger Conference on the Gold Coast I was inspired to pursue my passions, be honest about what I want and dream big dreams… but what are my passions? And what do I really really want? And what are my dreams? Have you ever stopped and asked yourself these same questions?
I have partial answers to all three questions and there are a lot of things I want. But do they align with God’s list of wants for me?
I’ve been feeling slightly hesitant with everything I have been juggling at present, not sure what my next move should be. I love blogging on The Plumbette and I have re-ignited my Styled by Bec blog so I can build my styling business. But I’ve also been thinking can I do all these pursuits while being a good mother to my children and a loving wife to my husband?
And then I got to church yesterday and the first sentence that was preached was this: God doesn’t call us into something we can do in our own strength. Boom.
Those feelings of fear and being overwhelmed are actually normal and are indicators that something is about to unfold and that excites me. But I need to trust God and follow the doors that open up to me.
I’ve been loving my days as a mum with my daughters and sometimes I have to pinch myself that these gorgeous girls are in my life. And they will always come first. But work also needs to be prioritized so that we can live a lifestyle not dependent on others.
Hopefully I haven’t lost you with this post, but if I have, I’m sorry for being cryptic. Hopefully you can take away this: That you stop to ask yourself what you really want and evaluate whether the life you are living is helping you achieve that dream, because if it’s not, some changes will need to be made so you get back on the right track.
Proverbs 8:17-19
‘I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. With me are riches and honor, enduring wealth and prosperity. My fruit is better than fine gold; what I yield surpasses choice silver. ‘
