On Friday night my husband and I watched the film This is 40. It was my choice and as usual my husband told me I picked another doozey of a film. I have to admit that it wasn’t a riveting movie and both of us occasionally turned to the ipad (or my case my iphone) to play candy crush during the slower parts of the storyline.
The reason I wanted to watch the movie was because I wanted to challenge my view of what being forty will be like. You see I love watching movies that explore everyday life and interestingly I could relate to some of the themes brought up in the movie.
I am nowhere near 40. I haven’t even had my 30th! But I could see some similarities in my relationship with my husband and the marriage we were watching. I think a lot of couples who have been in a long term relationship could relate to this movie in some shape or form.
I want to say straight up that I love being married. I have been married to my husband for over 8 years, and we’ve been together for 11 years. We have two young daughters and this new season in our marriage and new family is one that we both enjoy but it is testing us on so many levels.
We have to work harder to spend time together and talk to each other even when we feel tired and want to collapse on the couch in front of the tv (which happens most nights). Budgets are tight. Choosing on my part to work less and be a stay at home mum has meant we have had to work harder with our money. And spending time on myself is harder to achieve when you have a baby and toddler that demand your attention. But it’s only for a season.
I wanted the movie to remind us not to get complacent in our marriage and in our living of life together. Yeah we have young kids and they take up a lot of time and leave little opportunity for spontaneity but we are both young and in our prime time for health and we have time on our side where we potentially have years ahead of us to fulfill our goals and travel and live a life to the full. Heck, who said we aren’t living a life to the full now with our young children?
My mum recently told me of a message she received from a Hillsong Church service. The message was simple yet profound. If you want something to fail, don’t do anything to it. Explained practically, if we don’t invest time into our marriages, they will fail. In fact if we don’t invest time into anything, it either stays stagnant or doesn’t succeed.
I don’t want to live a complacent life. I choose to find joy in the little things and to put more effort into being the desirable woman my husband fell in love with 11 years ago.
My 30th Birthday isn’t until next year but I’m going to live by this pact. I don’t want to take life for granted. I want to be thankful every day for the things that money can’t buy; be grateful for every change in life because there are lessons and joy to be had in each season. I also need to stop procrastinating and put into action steps to achieve our dreams and plans for our future. After all, this is 30. When I’m 40 I want to look back on fruitful living rather than a barren life.
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Helen Keller 1880-1968