This year my chosen word was notice. Bron from Maxabella Loves placed the challenge at the beginning of the year to choose a word and make it our focus for the year.
One quarter of the year has nearly gone and lately the only thing I’ve been noticing is my inability to keep up with the work I have invited into my life. The work has been necessary, but the pressure I have put myself under has not.
Can I admit that I’m still struggling with trying to feel less overwhelmed? I’m still trying to find my new normal.
Recently I had a moment where I was sitting in bed, thinking about how I went to Colour Conference over a month ago and I can not for the life of me tell you all the lessons I learned from the conference. My mind went blank as I tried to recall what I learned.
It’s a bit like this when I read my Bible at night too. I read it and then go to bed and the next morning I ask myself what did I read and what did I learn and I can’t recall what I read.
That word notice hasn’t been doing too well for me. I think I need to change it to focus.
Anyway, as I was sitting in bed trying to think about what I learned at Colour, I grabbed my bible and stared to read about how Peter disowned Jesus 3 times.
I always thought Peter was such a dork. At the last supper before Jesus was seized and arrested, Jesus told Peter he would disown him three times. Peter denied that he would. But Jesus was adamant that before the rooster crowed twice that day, Peter would deny he knew Jesus.
As I read on, after Jesus had been arrested, Peter did in fact disown Jesus three times in public when a servant girl recognized him and accused him of following Jesus.
It’s a story I’ve read plenty of times but this time the story had a message for me and hopefully one that you can relate to too.
As I read the familiar passage I kept thinking how dumb Peter was to have been told by Jesus of something that he would do in the future. He had been with JESUS. He KNEW Jesus. Surely he could have been more prepared? Surely he loved Jesus enough to not disown him.
But it was when I read Peter’s reaction to realizing he had done what he denied he would do that showed me something I hadn’t thought of before. I realized the disciples were no different to me (or you) being distracted by the everyday pressures of life and succumbing to worldly distraction.
How many times have I gone to church, walked away with a new determination to focus on God and not my problems, to find myself crumble by Wednesday morning because my focus has been shifted yet again on my problems?
Yesterday I was shocked to have received something in the mail that I didn’t expect. It’s something I will have to work through but it couldn’t have come at a worse time as it’s our 10 year wedding anniversary next week and anything we were trying to scrape together to do will now have to be put on hold.
Anyway, back to that moment where I had my epiphany.
Once I realized the disciples were no different to me, I looked down at my pyjama pants. They had Alice in Wonderland print all over them. As I looked at Alice I remembered part of the Colour Conference that spoke to me.
The opening night of Colour had a dramatization of Alice in Wonderland. Alice was distracted by the world and influences around her and what she once knew as her purpose was blurred from the distractions around her.
In that moment I wasn’t distracted at all and I did notice what God was trying to tell me.
Stop being distracted. Get on with what needs to be done but with a Heavenly focus. The work is the same but the focus and pressure needs to shift.
I need to take time to rest and not feel guilty when I stop. I’m listening and taking actions to help me rest. I need to focus on what is lasting in my life and not what is temporal.
I will take notice.
Have you had an epiphany recently? What have you noticed lately?
I’m linking up with With Some Grace for Flog Yo Blog Friday