As passing days dissolve into weeks and weeks multiply into months, I’m finding life is travelling like a bullet train. Especially when it comes to mothering three children.
It’s a juggle parenting three under four and I’ve coped quite well with the change. But I have my days and my moments where I get overwhelmed with the responsibility of nurturing my children and project managing the housework and this blog.
One thing that has been hard for me to accept is the sacrifice of time towards my own pursuits and a surrendering of my will as I mother these three little girls. This doesn’t mean I need to put myself last on the list when it comes to meeting my own entrepreneurial desires. It simply means parenting my children comes first and prioritizing time when my children don’t need me to do those things my heart desires.
Children are a blessing. I believe this with all my heart, but with that blessing comes responsibility. Parenting well means I need to not only be present in my children’s lives, but attentive to what they do and share. I need to be intentional when spending quality time with my cherubs. This can be difficult when you have a baby that requires more attention.
Naturally I have been pondering on my current pursuits with The Plumbette and Styled by Bec. I only do what I can manage, and sometimes what I manage isn’t always up to the standard that I’d like. But I’m still doing something to keep both balls rolling.
On Thursday mornings I go to Sisterhood which is a weekly uplifting women’s event at my church. I refuse to call it women’s ministry because that term has a stigma of lovey doveyness. I don’t do lovey dovey. But I do do real and I go because the worship and speakers minister to my heart and soul. There is also a children’s program which means Esther and Magdalene are looked after for a couple of hours. They love going as do I.
Anyway as I drove my girls to Sisterhood on Thursday morning I listened to a song by Francesca Battistelli called Write your story.
The song has been a source of encouragement to me. That my life should be an open book because God wants to write on the pages of my heart.
What I’ve been pondering though while I’m being a mum and blogging and styling is this: Is God holding the pen to write the story of my life? And has God been the author of the previous pages in my book?
I know that He has written most of the pages of my book, but there are some pages where I grabbed hold of the pen to change the storyline.
And this simple grabbing of the pen reveals my issue with surrender. Surrendering my will to His because I know that His will is best, but I like to hold the pen from time to time because I sometimes think I can make the story a bit better. Ironically, my holding the pen makes the story predictable and can change the plot to include dangerous or hurtful scenarios that weren’t part of the story in the first place.
So my questions are these: Whose story is written on your heart?
Does God hold the pen and is He actively writing your story or are you writing and trying to erase as you go?
If you were an open book what story would we read?
If there are pages you wished were erased from your story, it might be time to start a new chapter and hand over the pen.
