The opportunity to be filmed whether for TV or video is exciting. But when film day comes around, I question why I said yes in the first place.
I converse and rehearse in my head possible answers to the questions I’ll be asked. I pray I won’t get tongue tied or get my sayings mixed up. I’m known to say common sayings the wrong way around.
Like grab a bull by its balls. Apparently it should be by its horns.
Or ‘You’ve got that up your arsenal’. Legitimately told this to a customer on the phone when explaining a way to save money on their insurance. The customer asked me to repeat what I said as it literally sounded like ‘You’ve got that up your arse -e-nal.’ What I really meant and probably should have said was, ‘you’ve got that up your sleeve.’
The Today Show was easy. It was just me being a mum with three kids, participating in a trial to wash clothes. I do this every day. It was normal life being played out on screen. A mini interview thrown in the mix too.
But I had to do another video last Monday. This time it was for an internal video for work. It will be shown to all the leaders within our company, Australia wide. The camera was on me and the filming went for an hour.
Afterwards I doubted myself on how I came across and did I say the right things? I was assured it was all great and they had enough footage for the 3 minute video. They were also interviewing other employees so I really had nothing to worry about. I will probably only have a sentence or two included in the video.
It was after filming, I had to sign a talent release form. My signature has become appalling over the years. I blame having to sign all the documents and parent consent forms after having three kids. My hand is tired and my signature shows it.
The interviewer commented on my signature and said, ‘That signature can be easily forged. You’ll have to change that when you become CEO.’
I stopped for a moment to consider what he said.
‘You think I could be CEO of here one day?’ I questioned.
‘Well, why not?’ was the reply.
I walked out of our city office with a smile on my face, a slight spring in my step because the interview was finished. But there was also a little ember which ignited inside me.
A small spark of hope.
A thought which had never crossed my mind.
A possibility which could become a reality if I really really wanted it and worked for it.
Titles have never motivated me. Position has never been something I’ve strived to achieve.
After working as an employee, in our family business and for myself, a title can be created instantly to sound more important than it is. Heck I’ve even jumped on a phone call and introduced myself as a leader, even though I wasn’t, to help a poor trainee deal with a customer who wouldn’t leave her alone.
But when I became a mum and I started my plumbing blog and was offered freelance writing work, which has always come to me through word-of-mouth, things haven’t always gone smoothly. I navigated changes to be the mum I wanted to be to my kids, and with that I stopped thinking big because I just wanted to ‘get by’ with what I got.
I have no doubt there are struggles whatever path we choose. I’m not naïve to think all paths are smoother than others. And I honestly wouldn’t change many of the things I’ve done since having children, however, that day after filming I realised I’d been dreaming small. So small. I’d never considered myself as CEO material. Other people. Other women even. But not me.
And so the questions I’ve conversed in my head recently are Would I? Could I? Should I?
I’ve talked to Jacob about future possibilities. Options for when the girls are all in school. When they’re older a bit more independent.
It really comes down to one thing for me at the moment and that is flexibility. Would I hate missing the kids on their sports days and excursions? What would it be like to have a job during the week and have my weekends and nights free again?
I don’t have the answer, but what I do know is it’s time to stop thinking small and dream bigger. It’s time to write a new list of 100 dreams. It’s time to write them down and really pray for wisdom in knowing what the next step may be.
Life can change in an instant, and while I’m content and comfortable in my current position, it’s not mean to be my resting place.
I recently read a devotional by Joyce Meyer which coincidentally confirmed my recent thoughts.
Based on Ephesians 3:20, the last sentence of the devotion said this
“Some of us are not believing for enough. We need to stretch our faith into new realms. We need to be uncommon people with uncommon goals.” Joyce Meyer
When was the last time you dreamed big? Have you ever written down your dreams and read them over? What puts a fire in your heart? What is something impossible you’d love to see become possible in your life?
I’m believing Ephesians 3:20 over my life and yours.
“God can do anything you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.” The Message.