Too many chiefs, not enough villages


Do you have a village to help you raise your family?

I’ve been noticing a trend with a lot of mums (myself included) that there are more chiefs than villages. Meaning more mums are doing life on their own, raising their families, without the support of a village. Sometimes the village is the family unit itself because that is all they have time for.

But I don’t think we were meant to experience life this way.

I really believe we need a village to not only help raise our children, but to lift ourselves up when we’re feeling low.

I’ve been thinking about the health of my family’s village recently. I could blame it on the pregnancy hormones and the insomnia, but there have been days where I have struggled.

Struggled to find joy.

Struggled to keep it together when the house turns into a bomb site.

Struggled to get dinner on the table because I am exhausted from the day’s activities.

And on those days where I have struggled, I’ve longed for a text message from a friend or someone just to say hey, I’m thinking about you.

But it doesn’t come because I’ve been living like a chief, and I don’t reach out. Chiefs are self-sufficient and often will shrug their shoulders and get on with what needs to be done.

I’ve learned in the past that when I’ve started to feel disconnected and isolated, it’s up to me to change things and so I will send a text message to my close friends to organise a catch up. But sometimes I have a little voice that likes to sow a seed of doubt into my heart by saying Why are you the first one to make a move?

And that is where the devil can get a foothold into your mind and harden your heart to live life like a chief, and not as part of a village.

When was the last time you sent a text message to a friend just to tell them you were thinking of them?

When was the last time you rang a friend to check how they were going?

When was the last time you dropped a home cooked meal to a mum for no reason other than to give her a night off cooking?

When was the last time you helped a friend?

Some practical ways of building your village can include spending time going to playgroups or mother’s groups and catching up with mums outside of these organized activities. I also find going to a church helps build a stable village too.

If you currently live life as a chief, I’d encourage you to start living as part of a village. You will feel less secluded and will always have a community that will have your back when life has an unexpected turn.

How is the health of your village? Or do you revert to living life as a Chief?

I’m linking up with With Some Grace for Flog your blog Friday.